When I got my tickets to see Cate Blanchett and Stephen Dillane in When We Have Sufficiently Tortured Each Other in the National Theatre’s ballot I did ponder whether it was the most romantic thing to take my husband to see on Valentine’s Day.  Then I read the reviews and it felt more booby prize than golden ticket.

It’s a terrible play, let’s face it, although there are interesting things in it. Are these two people locked in a marriage or has she been trapped by an abusive abductor? Is he master manipulator or a pathetic inadequate (or both)? Then it becomes clearer (I think) that it’s about the fluidity of the roles people can play in a relationship. Playwright Martin Crimp says it’s about “predator and prey“, but it’s impossible to pin down which is which.  It’s saying that women can be dominant and men submissive (and vice versa) when they choose, and both can be a representation of their true nature; that there’s more than one way to be desirable and more than one response to being desired. That occasionally the best way to get over the tedium of who’s turn it is to make the sandwiches is to disappear for some creative play in the garage. Maybe there are clues in the book (though there’s probably less gaffer tape, shaving cream or scenes on the back seat of a four-door family saloon in Samuel Richardson’s original).

The performances from the two leads are great, but it really isn’t a good vehicle to explore anything of substance. It’s not transgressive, it breaks no real taboos, it makes S&M look rather dull (and such hard work – all that fiddling about with maid’s costumes and blond wigs). More than anything it reminded me of this: